If you’re in a place in your life where you’re not 100% happy and fulfilled, then here’s where you start:
Fuck what you think you know.
Just let it go and fucking throw it out the window.
Because when you allow yourself to open your mind then your horizons can expand.
Let me share a little story with you…
A while back, I made the mistake of sharing with a friend that I was considering an unconventional relationship. I was immediately blasted with negative and judgmental comments, even before I could finish telling him the entire story.
First, I got pissed off at him for being so negative instead of just listening to my story. And then I got mad at myself for assuming I could talk to this person without being judged. I should have known better because this type of reaction has come from him before. Multiple times.
I had assumed that I could talk freely to this friend in a safe and open space, without being lashed out at verbally.
Well fuck what I think I know… that was my mistake.
I had assumed that he would not place his own relationship limitations on my scenario.
Since my unconventional relationship did not fit into his definition of what is right for a relationship, I got a blast of negativity coming at me.
So fuck what he *thinks* he knows.
- His reality is NOT my reality.
- His limitations are not MY limitations.
Do you guys see that?
People project their own shit onto other people all the time. You just have to be aware of this phenomenon and you’ll start seeing it all over the place.
How about this for a change of pace: let’s start opening our minds instead… it doesn’t take much, but it does take a willingness to admit you do not have all the answers.
Can you do that?
Here are some areas to consider:
What messages were you fed growing up?
What were the overriding messages you were taught about yourself growing up? Most of us learned lessons indirectly based on our circumstances and actions of the people in our lives.
Were you taught that you were powerful, lovable, free to choose your path ahead, and that you could change the world?
Or were you like me who was indirectly taught through the actions of the people around me that I didn’t matter. I was shown time and time again that I wasn’t worthy of love and affection; that I wasn’t worthy of greatness.
And as a child, you simply do not know any other way and so you continue to live those lies that are fed to you on a daily basis…
Until you know better.
And I hope for your sake that one day you do know better. Because we all deserve to be true to who we are.
What messages are you fed by the partner/spouse/lover that you choose to be with?
Do they uplift you and provide a safe space for your ideas and fantasies and goals and dreams?
Or do they give you the cold shoulder and you find yourself shutting down a little more as each day/month/year goes by…?
As more time goes by and more false messages are fed to us (directly or indirectly,) about who we are at the core, the more you will believe them. And that’s a sad travesty of life.
When will you wake up and own your own truth? When will you shed off their limiting messages of you?
Fuck their messages. Their lies do not define YOU.
Fuck what they think they know about you.
What messages do you feed yourself every day as an adult?
What does your internal dialogue say to you?
Most of us have a few sound bites that play on repeat in our head.
- I’m not pretty / handsome / sexy
- If only I could be the right weight.
- I’m not smart enough.
- I am not worthy of having a loving, supportive partner.
- It’ll never work out with ____
- I don’t have enough time to pursue ____
What are you telling yourself?
Are those thoughts freeing and liberating? Or are those thoughts restrictive and judgmental? Usually it’s the latter.
What do you think would happen if your internal dialogue fed you messages of hope, love and curiosity?
Ahhhh… the oppressive negativity vanishes and is replaced with messages of limitless growth.
Hope let’s you dwell on what’s possible. Love sets the right energy. And curiosity allows you to try!
Being perpetually curious sets yourself up to experience new things, new people and new circumstances. Without being set on a goal, it removes any expectation of success (and the resulting angst if you fail.) Be curious to see how it goes, and you’ll be immersed in the experience which is so much more rewarding!
On a side note here-
Watch out who you open up to
Most people aren’t aware of it, but they have their own agenda. People hold so tightly to their own limiting beliefs that when someone else comes along and challenges those beliefs, they will lash out at you to try and reign you back into their limitations. Stay strong and hold onto your own truths. Acknowledge that them lashing out at you has more to do with them then it has to do with you.
Fuck what they think they know.
Their truth is not your truth.
Wanna know a simple trick to turn all of this around?
Stop assuming and start asking.
- Stop assuming you know the right answer.
- Assuming there is only one way needs to stop.
- Stop assuming that you’re stuck in your current circumstances.
- No more assumptions that you have to behave in a certain way.
- Stop assuming the worst about yourself.
Instead, start asking:
- Start asking yourself if there are more answers that you haven’t yet though of
- Ask yourself if there could be another way
- Are there unconventional ways out of your current reality?
- Start asking yourself if the socially acceptable behavior is serving your greater good
- Ask yourself what could be great about you
- Start being curious about people; to know more people and to know them better.
A few final thoughts for you to consider
Start operating out of hope instead of out of fear. (Ahhh… if that rang true for you, go read THIS article too.)
Look at the boundaries you have set up in your life; some of them constructed in our culture, and some of them embedded from your family history. Look at them and ask yourself this:
How’s that working for you?
Are those boundaries serving your greater good or are they just holding you back? What does your gut tell you?
When you open your mind and broaden your horizons, then you can expand your world in wonderful directions.
Peace and Love,